*WARNING: this post is very sad and mentions death of a loved one*
Camille–
I’m really enjoying this whole “writing to each other through blog post” thing. It feels very vlogbrothers which makes my nerdy little heart sing. I’m currently sitting on a plane, flying home for Thanksgiving, a loaded journey in itself. I’ve paused a comm lecture to write this, partially because I was feeling inspired and partially because I really really hate this comm class. The woman next to me is ALL OVER her boyfriend and for some reason keeps seductively pouring water on herself. It’s like that meme where that couple is touching foreheads in a subway (you know the one). Very weird. They’re sharing headphones and watching mean girls on the same screen and snuggling over airplane seats. There’s no way this is comfortable for them. It certainly isn’t for me and I’m not the one dripping wet with a man’s hand on my thigh and the Delta airplane fans blowing right at me.
OK, now onto the sappy stuff: A big reason I feel compelled to write this now is because the tone of Thanksgiving this year is different and I’m not sure how to emotionally process it. Earlier this week, I lost a very dear family member. She was young—too young—and passed in a very tragic accident. She lived a full life, got to travel the world, see taylor swift in concert, do work that she loved. I was supposed to run a 5K with her next week. I’ve had loved ones pass before, but not ones who had so much life left to live like Alezandra did. It’s made me think about things very differently and trying to wrap my head around this tragedy has been hard. It doesn’t make sense, losing someone you expected to get to spend forever with, who was supposed to give you more relationship advice, be at your wedding. This level of loss and grief is completely illogical, and that’s not an easy truth to cope with.
The one thing that’s getting me and my family through this is each other. I’m lucky enough to have a family that is so willing to lean on each other, to say “I love you,” and to remind me every day how loved I am. I know not everyone is blessed in that way.
This loss is tragic—but it’s a lesson in love. I got to have a beautiful relationship with my Ale and though this grief comes in waves, I am (in a matter of hours) going to get to support and be supported by my family, an important source of comfort in the face of this travesty.
Ale was such a beautiful soul. Kind, smart, and hilarious, she was the big sister I always wanted. I’m so grateful for the time I got with her, and can only hope that wherever she is, she’s running that half marathon she almost got to do. If there’s one thing I hope to learn from this, it’s to never let the people I love forget that I love them—to spend as much time with them as possible because time on this earth is precious and limited.
In short, tell your family you love them. It costs nothing to express love and gratitude—and you’ll be glad you did it someday. I know this isn’t the lighthearted back-and-forth banter we had in mind when we decided to do this (it’s going to happen, I promise), but thanks for listening, Camille. I love you and am very grateful for you.