Change is really hard. I know that. I think you probably do too. I recently had a huge change happen in my life, and I don't think it's really set in yet. I'm moving from one big chunk of my life to the next, and it hasn't hit me yet that soon my life is gonna be very different. Soon I'm going to be spending time with new people. The friends I once had will fade. Sure, we'll get coffee from time to time, but it won't be the same. I'll no longer get to see the two most important people in my life every day. I doubt I'll go to that old place for a very long time. I'm going to have to adjust to a new place. I'm going to have to talk to new people and try not to get lost in a new setting. I'm going to take a different route home. I'm going to be a different person.
You know, some people like big change. As a person with severe anxiety, change is the friggin worst. But some people view change as a way to start fresh, to try something new. I don't doubt that this new phase will be fun and exciting, and that it's for the better, but it's going to be very different. And different is confusing and hard to navigate. Different isn't something I'm sure I want right now, but I guess it's gonna have to be.
Soon enough, the change will set in. I'll get used to it. I won't get lost anymore. I'll find someone to eat lunch with, maybe a couple people. I'll settle into a routine and things won't be so scary anymore. And I'll forget. I'll forget the old place. Sure, the memories will be there, but I'll have forgotten how it feels to walk those halls. Those faces I could Identify in a heartbeat will fade. It'll take me awhile to remember their names. I'll see the important ones every so often, but it'll all fade together in a blur of "the good old days."
So this is goodbye. Goodbye building of the red arch. Hello building of purple stairs. In a few years, I'll move on from you too. You'll become as much a memory as good old red. But that's later. Now, I must focus on conquering you. See you soon!