So, I just published the first part of a short story I'm writing. It took me so much longer than I expected, normally when I write, it just sort of flows out of me, and I don't have to do much editing before I'm confident in it (yes, I know that's not a good way to be writing). It occurred to me, while writing some of the dialogue, that I was writing and re-writing the same interaction over and over again, each time having it play out differently. I realized how funny the situation was. I always walk away from conversations wondering what would have happened if I had said something different. It's funny how I'm constructing an interaction that would be very in the moment. I'm taking time to carefully think about what each character would say, while in the story, they are coming up with it in the moment.
I also realized that I stopped writing for myself. I've helped people with stories, and collaborated on projects with other people, but until recently, I wasn't writing for myself. I hadn't sat down with a book to read that was just for me, or drawn a bad picture that wasn't to give to someone as a joke. I hadn't sang in the car like normal, or in the shower. I'd not been taking care of myself in the way that only I can. I hadn't been taking time to do things for me, and that's something I've been meaning to work on.